Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Sensible Relationship Tips

Men and women tend to function from two completely different directions when it comes to how they behave in a relationship. This behavior is always easy to notice when it comes to communication. Men and women have distinct differences which make the common act of communication a more complex activity than it appears. This fact, on its own, is neither good or bad, however the impact of the experience can be both.

According to studies written by relationship counselors, communication is responsible for more than half of the failed relationships that have been observed and documented. This is not news to anyone who has been in a relationship that has lasted more than a couple of weeks. What may be interesting is the variety of issues that cause relationships to fail.

I've been on both sides of a broken relationship over my years of living and working as a counselor. Once as a child of a functioning but broken home and once as the spouse who left the relationship.

What I learned from each perspective I have written into a battery of counseling tips and conversations that serve to support couples through the healing and growth process. The key is understanding that communication is a multi-level and multi-faceted process.

When relationship partners speak to each other the messages being shared tend to have a purpose other than exchanging information. For example:

A partner wanting to enjoy a girls night out event in about two weeks could easily communicate the details of the event in a direct manner to her relationship partner. The measure of directness most often depends on the relative health of the relationship. What this means is, if the partner's work days are 10 to 12 hours and work weeks run 6 to 7 days most months, the girls-night-out conversation will most likely sound like a sales presentation.

A similar case could be made for a fishing buddy outing or a day at NASCAR's latest metal bending showcase. Communication under such circumstances tends to be filled with hidden agendas. This is not the foundation on which to build a solid relationship that stands the test of time. So what do you do when you want, and need, some free time to just get away by yourself...for yourself? How do you communicate this to your partner in a way that gets the point across without
the drama?

John Maxwell, author of "Relationships 101," says, "People don't care how much you know, until they know how much you care." When it comes to communication inside a relationship, most often the male and the female partner fail to communicate in the spirit of this fundamental message.

My next post will reveal the keys to improving communication in your relationship. No fluff or theories....just the facts and techniques that relationship partners have used to literally save the life of their relationship.

About The Author:
Alex Rich PhD, is a personal development and relationship coach. One of his associates has released a new book about relationships.

Visit her relationship blog: AskMamaE.com to meet Mama E, the Net's most savvy and experienced relationship coach since Dr. Phil.

DocRich - whereIstand.com

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