Thursday, June 12, 2008

Are You Dating Inside Your Relationship?

The fact that relationships are a good thing does not create controversy. What may cause a stir is some of the out-of-the-box ways people try to keep their relationship alive.

I've even spoken with those who insist "open relationships," which to me just seems to be licensed sleeping around, are working for them. There was a time when I was so liberal that I would give an approving nod. Now I move in a totally different direction. This is largely because I've been a relationship coach for more than 15 years and I've seen what works and what doesnt.

Here's what I know: Relationships don't have to hurt and building a solid relationship doesn't have to require a large measure of sweat equity to make it work. Work is involved, however it can be fun.

My suggestion is to avoid falling into a routine that shuts down the part of your relationship experience that actually led to the relationship.

What this means is: You most likely dated prior to the beginning of the relationship. If you're like most of us, one of the concessions you've made, due largely to your crazy daily schedule, has been to stop dating.

Once you start down the path of eliminating the fun and crazy activities you did during courtship, your relationship is headed for starvation. Emotional, physical and psychological starvation.

We'll chat again about the care and feeding of a relationship. However, for today, start dating inside your relationship. Pick a place that you've talked about but never visited....make a date and go out on the town. Date Your Mate...It's A Very Good Thing.


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