Saturday, August 2, 2008

Just When You Were About To Give Up...

So you've reached the end of your rope in this relationship. He has done the most unforgivable thing. She has absolutely done that one thing you've both talked about not doing for the very last time. It's gotten to the point of no turning back...or going forward. It's time for closure.

If you have ever been in a relationship you've probably been at this fork in the road. Some of us survived and moved on and other's made exit statements, packed up and hit the door. Let's ask a couple of questions...

When you think back to times when your behavior was, in a word, terrible, did he smooth over the issue and let it ride? On one occasion when you were plastered and scrubbed the side of the tree when you parked against the curb, did she help you out of your clothes and wipe you down and let you sleep it off without a smile or a frown...just a little genuine concern?

Whether your answers were yes or no depends on time, experience and depth of love and maturity. Most often, 98% of the time in fact, both relationship partners have a set of unreasonable expectations that are cashed in at certain points in the relationship. No judge or jury is available and impartial parties do not exist. So what's the answer/cure/solution?

More time in the seat. That's it.

You both must give yourselves and your relationship time to mature. Take it from a 30year veteran (one single was only 10 years the first first time around), a relationship, like fine wine, tasty cheese, Thanksgiving turkey, and many other of life's rich experiences, improves with age...if you allow yourselves time. If you freeze the turkey it will have to thaw. Then the maturing part gets a chance to start. Trying shortcuts only leads to does not allowing time for maturity to season your relationship.

The price you pay is an investment in an end result that no one you know can describe. And even if they could, you wouldn't believe them.

Long term successful relationships take time. There is no magic. It's a one-day-at-a-time process. Love, sex, lots of hugs and kisses and conversations, are the oil that smooths out the bumpy places.

Relationships are wonderful after a few shared struggles and overwhelming challenges are survived. The strength that both relationship partners build when they've stuck together through hell and high water, is remarkable. It's part of the foundation that makes human beings humane.

Love hard and heavy and make a true and trusted friend of your relationship partner. A day will come when that person is the only human being between you and death. Not necessarily physical death. A much worse form of death. I call it soul death.

Doc Rich

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