Thursday, November 27, 2008

Relationships Can Last...It's About Friendship

Working as a personal development coach for more than 15 years teaches one a lot about what works and what doesn't work to make a relationship last.

Being a partner in a relationship that spans more than 15 years provides a great vantage point for learning the difference between "long termers" and those whose relationship will burn out in less than a year. The following quick tips will hopefully provide you with some thoughtful (and possibly restless) nights.

Most individuals have experienced a friendship that has lasted for years. Whether this was a girlfriend or a guyfriend, the lessons learned from a long friendship are priceless.

If you haven't been blessed with the experience of a long lasting friendship to use as a model for your relationship with your partner....make notes.

1. Decide at the outset to look for hunches, points of shared or mutual interests, hobbies, or something similar. The point here is to be sensitive to your friction/attraction balance. If there is more attraction than friction, at least you have a reasonable starting point. Naturally, the object of this focus is to be aware of whether or not this person is comfortable to spend time with.

2. Make a commitment to yourself that you will not pursue a relationship with someone you would not want to add to your list of friends. Whether your friends are men or women is not the issue here. If the person you've begun dating is not a good match for the personality types shared by most of your long term friends, take a pass. The prognosis is not strong for this to develop into a long term relationship.

Disclaimer:) This is definitely a "logic and reason" based approach to assessing the potential for a new person in your life to become a long termer. Naturally, such attractions are not a logic and reason based decision. Love decisions are generally based on emotions.

However, if your personal relationship history is a path strewn with relationships that have broken within a 2 to 3 or so year period, it's definitely time for you to change your strategy and your focus.

Bottom line, if you and your partner are unable to build a relationship based on a foundation of friendship in the traditional sense, your chances of hitting a lottery jackpot are much stronger than the odds for you enjoying a long term relationship.

Doc Rich
PS For more information and tips about relationships plus an interactive question and answer section, Click here for a visit...

1 comment: said...

Really a great post. I liked it and its good that you are sharing with others too.

Introductions, Inc